How it feels to become a father at 22 years old.
Friday morning 09:00 AM, I’m still in bed…
I hear my beautiful wife screaming in the bathroom. Then running towards me… With tears of happiness and shock in her eyes.
OMG… OMG! Are we sure about this? I mean… I can’t believe it!
We had been married for about 4 weeks at the time. In a relationship for 7 years, but still very much newly-weds. And oh damn… I couldn’t be happier.
I jumped out of bed, completely in shock. And kept asking her: “are you serious?”, “Are you for real?”, “Let me see the test!”.
I have always wanted to become a father. My wife not so much… She is more the ‘mother’ type. … … Sorry XD
And from that moment onwards… Everything changed for me.
People always told me that becoming a parent puts ‘things’ into perspective. But what do they mean with ‘things’? I mean sure… You have a big responsibility now. But… Could you be a bit more specific? — Hence why I’m writing this article.
They say a woman becomes a mothers when they find out they’re pregnant. And a man becomes a father once he see his child for the first time? Well… Perhaps… But oh man…
Finding out I was going to be a father, changed me in an instant. And I feel like sharing what that change feels like… Because I didn’t find a lot of articles about it.
This is what changed for me, instantly.
I instantly gave up the main role in my own movie.
Since finding out, I feel like whatever I do, affects the future of my child. I am no longer the main protagonist in my own movie. I am like an important side character at best. Just there to make the main character shine. I realize this may not sound all that ‘fun’. But I view it as a positive development.
All of the sudden decisions are EASY. Life is no longer about finding meaning, it’s about full-filling it. It has made my past few weeks more action-oriented.
Health is suddenly a BIG priority
Everybody knows health is important, right? Yet some of us seem to care less about it than others. I used to be on that end of the spectrum. Knowing it’s important, but never really vividly caring about the future of my own.
Now?! Im f*cking scared of dying..
I’m scared of missing the important moments. I’m scared of not being as mobile in a few years, I’m scared of not getting enough exercise… I’m scared of being in an accident...
Discipline is a different thing
I see myself as a very driven person. A creative and motivated one. But still, just like everyone else, sometimes I would have to use pure discipline in order to get stuff done. Now? Doing stuff is easy. Because it feels like i’m not doing it for just myself anymore. I prepare breakfast for my wife every morning, as a sort of training (and support of course), For my soon to start dad-duties.
Money-management is easier, but scarier
I believe money is a nice thing to have… It’s also a nice thing to spend…
Not anymore! Financial security is a big topic all of the sudden. I’m not planning on turning into a money-horder all of the sudden. But losing financial safety is suddenly a very real threat.
It helps though… Where at first buying the latest smartphone was basically a law of nature. Now the prospect of spending 1300,- for a touch-screen device almost identical to the one I already own… Seems like bad parenting. There’s now a clear better use for that 1300,-.
I respect my wife even more
Honey, what you are going trough… That’s pretty f’ing insane. I know it’s not all sunshine and rainbows at the moment. Feeling sick most of the day, doesn’t sound like a lot of fun…
I absolutely believe what people say: ‘Man couldn’t do it’.
I love you, I will keep cleaning your vomit… And I will try to assist you as best as I can.
We are still very early in our pregnancy. About 10 weeks at the point of writing this. And perhaps I’m a bit too excited. But man… I just cannot wait. I love my new role in life, and you haven’t even been born.
Baby-girl, or baby-boy. I hope you read this one day… On the phone you secretly snuck into bed even though I strictly told you to leave it downstairs…
Will we even still have phone’s by then?
Who knows…
Before you leave…
I want to thank you for being here. You are (one of) my first reader(s)! Since discovering I will be a father soon, I have decided to start sharing a single thought, idea, or experience with you, per day. For a hundred days. The article you are reading right now, is article #002. I hope you are as excited as I am. I am writing it for you. And believe me… Writing is not my strong suit. (But let’s try anyway!)
